*I’ve been writing this thing for awhile. In so many ways I don’t know how to start. So many times I’ve started to try to tell my story, and then erased everything, too shy to talk about the “real” things and too sensitive to my own bullshit. So here I’m starting again. Sometimes I hate the way I sound. Sometimes it feels “just right.” It probably won’t be perfect… But I just have to start. That’s been a big lesson in developing Open Art. I start. I’m excited. I love it. I look back and it seems stupid, not right. I refine it, I’m excited again. I’m embarrassed about my previous efforts. I have to learn to all that. It’s all a process of gradual refinement. It’s all a work in progress. Ever effort is closer. Every effort is worth it. So here it is. With all the imperfections, even through the fears, at least I’m doing it.
In putting together a business plan for Open Art I’ve been led ever deeper into the maze and seemingly called upon to delve deep into the philosophy of not only the how’s but the why’s behind Open Art. What does Open Art mean, in other words. One of my biggest stumbling blocks has been my own fear and insecurity. Sometimes I hear the words I’m saying and feel like I’ve gotten far too far above myself. I’ve never meant to be a leader or think I’m someone important outside of some silly vain fantasies which we all have. My intention has been to share my journey in case it might be of help to someone else. I take very seriously the byline of my site: “Rise by lifting others.” It’s hard–because I mean it more than anything. To me, this is the real truth and the real importance in living, and through this I strive to be ever more authentic to myself for myself and hope to help others have the courage to do the same. I would never hold another to a standard higher than I hold for myself. Nor am I, or any of us, perfect in our endeavors. At the same time, I’m very conscious of sounding like an “asshole.” Maybe that’s just what happens when we tell too much truth. Or maybe I am an asshole. Recognizing this, the advice of Don Miguel Ruiz comes to mind: always do your best. This is my best. It is all I have to give, and I give it all to you.